Recently, I watched the Jonah Mowry video and it got me thinking. This world has, for as long as I can remember, tried to define what we should eat, what we should wear, and how we should think to name a few. "If you don't wear these shoes, you should be embarrassed." Because...You know...those shoes make you a better person...WTF???
Over the last few years I have gone over some serious transitions in my life. These made me take a step back and take a good hard look at not only who I am but how I live my life. What I discovered was I was doing it all wrong. I used to hide my true self from people. Outside my closest friends, No one knew the real me. I lived my life in fear that I would be labeled "different" and ridiculed for the things I enjoy. In order to just "fit in" I would go so far as to say I had seen movies I had never seen. Why? because I felt ashamed to not fit in...Thanks Society.
So, I made some life altering changes. They were not easy. Hell I still am working on them. But in my transformations I have taken on a new mentality: "If you don't like me for me, then that sucks for you because Im pretty damn awesome". It comes off a bit harsh at first. But think about it. Why is it harsh? I think its the "world" telling you that. Thats bogus. Its just me being proud of me! Imagine that. To be the true me, I do not need to wear the latest trend, I do not need the latest gadget (though I DO love me some gadgets), and I sure as hell do not need to be Rich. I am who I am and I am DAMN proud of that person.I guess I finally realized I can never be the person that "they" think I should be and I am quit alright with that. Hell, I am better than quite alright...I am elated. And do you know what? Those other people in my life are elated by it too.
I may be young (relatively lol), but I have seen my fill of good times along with the bad. I know that there are many way worse off than I have ever been, as well as those more privileged than I can dream of...but I have lived and learned a lot in the short time. If I had to answer the question of the ages, "Why are we here?" I would have to answer that with "To be yourself". We can never do more than that. Nor can we ever do less.
So I say to Jonah and all those others out there like him, whether you are gay, straight, bi, black white, or Whatever...Be PROUD of who you are. Do NOT let others shame you into something you are not. Is it easy? No. Hell I'm a straight white male and I found it hard. I can not imagine the difficulties a gay teen faces. I am sad that he must. But you all are strong. I have seen the human spirit and it can wow and amaze at the drop of a hat. So take that bold step, take the power away from whoever "they" are in your life and say "This is who I am. Accept it. I will not change, because I am not just happy, but proud to be me."
Be who you are. Be happy with what you have. It can always be worse. Gay, straight, old, or young, do not concern yourselves with what others think of you. They do not matter. What really matters is what you think of yourself. THAT is where true strength comes from and when you find that strength, you will gain many friends. With those two things, there is nothing you can not do!
Thursday, December 8, 2011
Friday, November 25, 2011
Pride
One thing is for sure, this movement provokes a LOT of emotions. Peace, Hate, Love, Anger, Apathy, Passion to name just a few. I know, me personally, I have felt all of those and I am sure I will do so with great frequency as this movement continues. The one I feel the most often, the one that rises up in me anytime I think about the goings on, is pride.
Every day that I am reading through the many articles that fly my way, I find something inside myself that I have not had in a long time. Pride in what I am doing. Now, I am a VERY proud father, that there is no doubt, but besides that, I have not felt very proud of anything I have done. Not that I have been horrible, just that I was drifting through life without purpose, without direction. Those are the days of the past. When I get emails that contain things like this "Thank you for putting yourself on the line like that." and "Thanks for being true to the cause." I feel it. When I talk to my brother, and due to my posts has a real idea of what is going on in the country with this movement and supports us fully. I feel it more. Firm confirmation that I am making a difference with the things I do. Firm confirmation that what I am doing is right. THAT is why I am here and it makes me proud to know I am making a difference.
That pride is, at times, overwhelming. The night I was pepper sprayed, People that I have never met in my life came to me. Some to keep my spirits up, some to help heal me, others to see how I was. These selfless acts made me proud to call them my brothers and sisters. They are why I am here. YOU are why Im here. This movement is showing the world that fear mongering corporate media is wrong. The people we walk past on the streets are NOT the enemy, They are your brothers or sisters.
So be sure to take pride in all you do. Don't just clamber through life without purpose. Find your passion and drive towards it at full speed.
Every day that I am reading through the many articles that fly my way, I find something inside myself that I have not had in a long time. Pride in what I am doing. Now, I am a VERY proud father, that there is no doubt, but besides that, I have not felt very proud of anything I have done. Not that I have been horrible, just that I was drifting through life without purpose, without direction. Those are the days of the past. When I get emails that contain things like this "Thank you for putting yourself on the line like that." and "Thanks for being true to the cause." I feel it. When I talk to my brother, and due to my posts has a real idea of what is going on in the country with this movement and supports us fully. I feel it more. Firm confirmation that I am making a difference with the things I do. Firm confirmation that what I am doing is right. THAT is why I am here and it makes me proud to know I am making a difference.
That pride is, at times, overwhelming. The night I was pepper sprayed, People that I have never met in my life came to me. Some to keep my spirits up, some to help heal me, others to see how I was. These selfless acts made me proud to call them my brothers and sisters. They are why I am here. YOU are why Im here. This movement is showing the world that fear mongering corporate media is wrong. The people we walk past on the streets are NOT the enemy, They are your brothers or sisters.
So be sure to take pride in all you do. Don't just clamber through life without purpose. Find your passion and drive towards it at full speed.
Thursday, November 24, 2011
A non-occupy day
Today, like most holidays, is a mixed bag of emotions. I wake up, go help my in-laws with dinner, spend time with them and the rest of the family, and enjoy every minute of it. Well except when the kids get crazy (THANK you for having a yard Karen!) But as the day winds down, my mind is less distracted by the busy day and it begins to wander.
For those of you who do not know, I live in the Seattle area. I moved here about 12 years ago, needing a change from Florida. I love it here. It is here that I met the mother of my children and am blessed with two amazing kids. I have a wonderful woman at my side. As of late, life has come into wonderful perspective. But it is days like today I begin to think of all my family that is far away. My dad, he lives in Illinois (where I was born) along with my amazing step mom. Then there is my Mom, step dad, sister, and brother. They are in Florida. Not that I do not think of these people a lot. I think of them nearly everyday. But DAMN these holidays. I sit and watch my in-laws family, and I am as much a part of their family as my own, but I can not help but feel some inner disconnect. It begins to eat at me how little I get to see my family.
Im sure that when I lay my tired head down tonight I will cry for all those I miss. So before I go retire to my bed, I want to say this:
To Dad and Sue, Thank you for being everything you are. You are my voice of reason when I need it. On one hand, talking to you as often as I do, makes these days easier. On the other, it makes it more difficult. I do not think I say it enough, but I love you and I thank you for everything.
To Mom: You are an amazing mom. I know we do not talk enough and I aim to try and change that. Know that not a day goes by that I do not think to myself "I need to call her". No more excuses. You are to important to me and your grand kids for "I'm to busy" I KNOW I do not get to tell you enough...but I love you with everything I am.
To my Step dad: Jack, I know we have had our battles in the past. We were both so damned stubborn, we could not see the others side. I just want you to know, any animosity I once held is gone. No matter what has happened in the past, I know you love me. I know you wanted the best for me. I know you busted your ass to provide for the family. Maybe its because I do that now...I have grown up that I get it. Either way, I want you to know I love and admire all you have done for me. You have had a par tin shaping me into the man I am today. I love you and never doubt that for a second.
To my little Sister: Miimii, I'm so happy that you have the family you have always wanted. Makes this big brother proud to see the wonderful woman and mother you have grown up to be. Thank you for being there for me in any tough times I have had. I know you are always a phone call away and will answer no matter the hour. I love you and that beautiful little girl of yours. Give her a big hug and kiss for me please and tell her Uncle Josh says "you are a lucky little girl Lillian. You have got a wonderful mommy and daddy to look after you. Treat them with respect. Love you!" And sis...I love you more than you can ever imagine.
To my baby Brother: We have not always been verbally close, but we have always had a tight bond. We can get together and act like no time has been missed. This movement has brought us closer together and I am glad to have helped in your introduction to it. Hopefully this means we will start to talk more. Both movement and non-movement stuff. I'm SO proud of how much you have matured in the last 6 years. I remember when you were a punk kid not wanting a baby. Now you are a wonderful Father who gets it. It makes me proud. I love you Bro. Keep in touch.
To Everyone else reading this: Thank you for being here with me. Without you I would not be who I am. From close friends to the friends I have just met, you all are amazing people and I am blessed to have you all in my life. Thank you for joining me on this wild ride called my life.
Now, off to bed for me, to be thankful for my things and cry a little for those I miss. Much love and peace to you all.
For those of you who do not know, I live in the Seattle area. I moved here about 12 years ago, needing a change from Florida. I love it here. It is here that I met the mother of my children and am blessed with two amazing kids. I have a wonderful woman at my side. As of late, life has come into wonderful perspective. But it is days like today I begin to think of all my family that is far away. My dad, he lives in Illinois (where I was born) along with my amazing step mom. Then there is my Mom, step dad, sister, and brother. They are in Florida. Not that I do not think of these people a lot. I think of them nearly everyday. But DAMN these holidays. I sit and watch my in-laws family, and I am as much a part of their family as my own, but I can not help but feel some inner disconnect. It begins to eat at me how little I get to see my family.
Im sure that when I lay my tired head down tonight I will cry for all those I miss. So before I go retire to my bed, I want to say this:
To Dad and Sue, Thank you for being everything you are. You are my voice of reason when I need it. On one hand, talking to you as often as I do, makes these days easier. On the other, it makes it more difficult. I do not think I say it enough, but I love you and I thank you for everything.
To Mom: You are an amazing mom. I know we do not talk enough and I aim to try and change that. Know that not a day goes by that I do not think to myself "I need to call her". No more excuses. You are to important to me and your grand kids for "I'm to busy" I KNOW I do not get to tell you enough...but I love you with everything I am.
To my Step dad: Jack, I know we have had our battles in the past. We were both so damned stubborn, we could not see the others side. I just want you to know, any animosity I once held is gone. No matter what has happened in the past, I know you love me. I know you wanted the best for me. I know you busted your ass to provide for the family. Maybe its because I do that now...I have grown up that I get it. Either way, I want you to know I love and admire all you have done for me. You have had a par tin shaping me into the man I am today. I love you and never doubt that for a second.
To my little Sister: Miimii, I'm so happy that you have the family you have always wanted. Makes this big brother proud to see the wonderful woman and mother you have grown up to be. Thank you for being there for me in any tough times I have had. I know you are always a phone call away and will answer no matter the hour. I love you and that beautiful little girl of yours. Give her a big hug and kiss for me please and tell her Uncle Josh says "you are a lucky little girl Lillian. You have got a wonderful mommy and daddy to look after you. Treat them with respect. Love you!" And sis...I love you more than you can ever imagine.
To my baby Brother: We have not always been verbally close, but we have always had a tight bond. We can get together and act like no time has been missed. This movement has brought us closer together and I am glad to have helped in your introduction to it. Hopefully this means we will start to talk more. Both movement and non-movement stuff. I'm SO proud of how much you have matured in the last 6 years. I remember when you were a punk kid not wanting a baby. Now you are a wonderful Father who gets it. It makes me proud. I love you Bro. Keep in touch.
To Everyone else reading this: Thank you for being here with me. Without you I would not be who I am. From close friends to the friends I have just met, you all are amazing people and I am blessed to have you all in my life. Thank you for joining me on this wild ride called my life.
Now, off to bed for me, to be thankful for my things and cry a little for those I miss. Much love and peace to you all.
Friday, November 18, 2011
The only thing we have to fear...
"Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark, professionals built the Titanic." ~Unknown~
Fear...a powerful word for just 4 tiny letters. Those 4 letters are such a subtle part of every day society that we barely recognize it any more outside of the times a horrific event occurs. However, it has subtly woven its way into the very fabric of the everyday. Things as simple as the news. Have you ever notice how all they talk about is one tragedy after another? A murder over here, child missing there, fire ravages apartment building in City X. Not all are even local. Terrifying stories from around the country are told on every local station around the country. Since when is it their job to broadcast world news? Is that not why there is World news right after it??? Even their "good" news pieces involve fear. "I got ripped off by company X" and then in come our hero who gets their money back by hunting them down...so make sure to look out for these scams! Fucking ridiculous. Granted, from time to time there is that good, heartfelt story. But they are to far and few between.
That is one area of fear in our everyday lives. That is a little more blunt and in your face. The fear that scares me the most is the subtle fears. I have had several conversations recently with people who do not understand why this movement has started. They say one of my most hated phrases "Well that's just the way it is." Really? THAT is your argument on why things shouldn't be better? Thank god for my female friends that back in the day...some people didn't think that way, or else they wouldn't be voting right now. Or my African American brothers. Without people standing up and saying "Hey! that's not right!" They would still be going to separate schools, having separate water fountains, and sitting no where on the bus but the back. All of those things were the "norm"...that didn't make it right. Just because something is the way it is also does not make it right.
Today I posted an article on 2 dozen millionaires going to congress to simply say "tax us". I was told people should "mind their own business and keep their hands our of other peoples pockets". Well of COURSE! That has worked SO well for this economy. To me, this is a retort of fear. Fear of change. Change is necessary for growth. if we do not change, we become complacent and stagnant. We must not fear change, but embrace it. It is through change that all great things are accomplished.
Remember, the future is an unknown, and the unknown is the most powerful fear there is. At this point in history we have 2 choices. Choice one...We continue down the path we are on. Its easy. We don't have to fight. Its ok though because it's "the way it is". Why change? Although it is "uncertain", I think we all know this is a future only the very wealthy want. One where we get shit for pay, they drive companies into the ground, get bailed out, and STILL get bonuses. While the rest of us do what we do now. Fail to make this bill or that. work 40+ hours a week with minimal benefits. Then there is Choice Two...We fight. We fight for those things we know are right. This future is more frightening. It is more unknown. But I can tell you one thing of this future. It holds much more Hope for us than option one. I use a phrase when talking about love a lot. This movement fits right in. This is a High risk, High reward movement. Fighting for THIS future could have its down side...but that is only if we fail...but failing is NOT an option. So...WHEN we win...the upside is there for us to define.
So please, go forth KNOWING it WILL get scary. Quite possibly more scary than any of us can imagine. But know that once we have conquered that fear, the reward will be so great you will look back on the fear as a minor nuisance. Standing up against fear is what this country is founded on and it is how we will move this country forward. Stand on that line, knowing the person beside you is facing the same fear as you, but together, we will stare that fear in the face, laugh at it, and conquer it!
Fear...a powerful word for just 4 tiny letters. Those 4 letters are such a subtle part of every day society that we barely recognize it any more outside of the times a horrific event occurs. However, it has subtly woven its way into the very fabric of the everyday. Things as simple as the news. Have you ever notice how all they talk about is one tragedy after another? A murder over here, child missing there, fire ravages apartment building in City X. Not all are even local. Terrifying stories from around the country are told on every local station around the country. Since when is it their job to broadcast world news? Is that not why there is World news right after it??? Even their "good" news pieces involve fear. "I got ripped off by company X" and then in come our hero who gets their money back by hunting them down...so make sure to look out for these scams! Fucking ridiculous. Granted, from time to time there is that good, heartfelt story. But they are to far and few between.
That is one area of fear in our everyday lives. That is a little more blunt and in your face. The fear that scares me the most is the subtle fears. I have had several conversations recently with people who do not understand why this movement has started. They say one of my most hated phrases "Well that's just the way it is." Really? THAT is your argument on why things shouldn't be better? Thank god for my female friends that back in the day...some people didn't think that way, or else they wouldn't be voting right now. Or my African American brothers. Without people standing up and saying "Hey! that's not right!" They would still be going to separate schools, having separate water fountains, and sitting no where on the bus but the back. All of those things were the "norm"...that didn't make it right. Just because something is the way it is also does not make it right.
Today I posted an article on 2 dozen millionaires going to congress to simply say "tax us". I was told people should "mind their own business and keep their hands our of other peoples pockets". Well of COURSE! That has worked SO well for this economy. To me, this is a retort of fear. Fear of change. Change is necessary for growth. if we do not change, we become complacent and stagnant. We must not fear change, but embrace it. It is through change that all great things are accomplished.
Remember, the future is an unknown, and the unknown is the most powerful fear there is. At this point in history we have 2 choices. Choice one...We continue down the path we are on. Its easy. We don't have to fight. Its ok though because it's "the way it is". Why change? Although it is "uncertain", I think we all know this is a future only the very wealthy want. One where we get shit for pay, they drive companies into the ground, get bailed out, and STILL get bonuses. While the rest of us do what we do now. Fail to make this bill or that. work 40+ hours a week with minimal benefits. Then there is Choice Two...We fight. We fight for those things we know are right. This future is more frightening. It is more unknown. But I can tell you one thing of this future. It holds much more Hope for us than option one. I use a phrase when talking about love a lot. This movement fits right in. This is a High risk, High reward movement. Fighting for THIS future could have its down side...but that is only if we fail...but failing is NOT an option. So...WHEN we win...the upside is there for us to define.
So please, go forth KNOWING it WILL get scary. Quite possibly more scary than any of us can imagine. But know that once we have conquered that fear, the reward will be so great you will look back on the fear as a minor nuisance. Standing up against fear is what this country is founded on and it is how we will move this country forward. Stand on that line, knowing the person beside you is facing the same fear as you, but together, we will stare that fear in the face, laugh at it, and conquer it!
First post...LOTS to say
So Im not one to typically do this. But do to the recent events unfolding that I am a part of, I felt the need to start documenting my life, and those who intersect with mine so in the VERY least my kids can have some record of what happened through my eyes.
Almost two months ago, here in the Seattle area, the occupy movement began. This movement struck a chord with me, for it was all the things I saw wrong with this country, but never thought I would see changed. I had the belief that there was way to much "me" feelings in the world. It was what we were "programmed" to do for the lack of a better word. Feel like we all had to fend for "me" and not worry about our neighbors and friends. I am ultimately a part of the 80's "me generation". I was never one who was like that...but I had seen enough to believe that most were. Then came this movement. I was filled with excitement to see others, like me, rising up in unison, bitching, fighting, and complaining about the very things I saw wrong. In the very beginning I was unsure of HOW to get involved. Soon, somehow, I found myself involved with the livestream crew. Slowly, I got to know Mel and Lisa. This bond quickly grew and soon I felt they were my family. Then came meetings. Here I met some of the most amazing, courageous, and dedicated people I know. This livestream crew, Most of who knew nothing of each other before this, quickly became my family. People I would do anything for. These people put themselves in the most intense, frightening, and potentially dangerous spots to get the true and raw story out. All of these people believe in the movement. All of them know in their hearts we battle for the right and good. but we also know we are here to report the news as it happens no matter who looks like the fool. we will not shy away from news that may make the occupy movement here in Seattle look bad. Its bound to happen. But even without our high tech equipment, and our degrees in journalism, we are doing the things our fellow corporate media stations SHOULD be doing and that is reporting what is happening. No spin. No slant. No agenda. We are here to report History in the making.
On that note, I want to thank each and every one of my crew. You all have opened your hearts and minds to me. I am amazed at the love and camaraderie that has transpired over a few online meetings and chats and limited personal meetings. I love you all and truly feel blessed having you in my life. I never imagined that this wonderful movement would bring such amazing people in my life. Shows how Naive I was.
Once involved, I spent all the free time I could, wrapping my mind around as many aspects of it as I could handle. Sleep dwindled, but knowledge prospered. Unfortunately I could not spare all the time I would like to towards this life altering event. I have to work. Supplying a roof, food, and all those essentials for my family. in that immediate family I am lucky to be blessed with an amazing woman at my side through all of this. Athena has been at home, digging, blogging, searching for any and all manners of information. most of what I know, I know because of her. She is MY database. She supplies me with the majority of knowledge I have of the goings on around the world involving all of this. Without her, I would be half as prepared as I am. so darling...Thank you. I hope you know the impact you have on me...and this movement.
From the beginning, I was behind this mind and spirit. It wasn't until Tuesday night, November 15th, that those convictions were put into perspective. Athena and I try to make it what we can. So we heard of a march that was in solidarity with the events going on in NYC earlier that day. Zuccotti park had been raided at 1am in the most ridiculous of manners. Reporters were not allowed to enter. News helicopters where told to stay out of the airspace above the park. Newspaper reporters where turned away, one arrested. Mayor Bloomberg blacked out the media to "exterminate this growing menace" as he saw. after having their rights trampled on, the law team of Occupy Wall Street (OWS) got a court injunction until a final court order could be reached. Unfortunately, those court orders where ignored and the people of OWS where kept from their camp.
So we here in Seattle, along with most other cities nation wide, decided to have a march in solidarity with our brothers and sisters plight in NYC. Me and Athena hustled to Seattle as soon as we could (me having to work), speed walking through the streets of Seattle to catch the march. Thanks to constant contact with my Livestream crew, we finally met up with them. Already on the march there had been 2 pepper spray incidents. Jenny, part of our crew, had taken a straight shot to the face, while Ian had gotten some secondary spray. After meeting up with them we marched through Seattle, at times a little unorganized, but finally finding our senses, ended up at the corner of 5th and Pike.
A group of around 75 or so decided to sit in the street. Trying to avoid arrest/trouble I stayed on the outskirts. Taking photos from on top of the planters that live on many of the corners in downtown Seattle. Not that I do not find this movement worthy of getting arrest for, I just can not risk losing my job for my family sake. Roughly 30 minutes or so later, the police issue warning number one. Basically "get out of the street or risk retaliation or arrest." Not long after, warning number 2 is issued. At this point, the people sitting in the streets decide that our point has been made and move to the sidewalks as asked.
Bike Cops line the corner where I am standing. Still snapping pictures, suddenly there is a shower from 5-7 cops of pepper spray without warning driving people back a few feet. This causes something in me to snap. After the spray subsides, I begin shouting towards the cops. I am outraged at what I have seen taken place by the very people who have been sworn to protect us and our constitutional rights. Shouting in a voice I rarely use, I begin..."We're on the fucking sidewalk!What the Fuck?!" My tirade lasts longer than I would have liked. With this "advantage"of the crowd backing up after the spraying, the bike cops move their barricade line up. Not once but twice shouting "MOVE BACK". All the protesters are on the side walk, they have been since before the first pepper spray.
One protester stands his ground at the edge of the sidewalk. Upon the second surge of "Move Back" and advancing the bike barricade, the protester standing there on the edge is hit with a bicycle. After stumbling a bit back, he moves forward to regain his stance on the very edge of the sidewalk. Another protester joins his brothers side. For one reason or another I will never know, the cops behind the front line deem this man worthy or arrest and drag him over the bike barricade. It was here that one of the cops saw something that either frightened or concerned him and he unleashed his pepper spray. For some reason this was cause for 5-6 other officers to unleash theirs.
Now, whether it was the shouting that I was doing, my camera taking their pictures, or the combo, Ill never know. But this is when I was greeted with a full shot of pepper spray to the face. Here I am, a photographer documenting the events. Angered at the cps actions less than a minute before, being pepper sprayed. Was there a reason? None that I can logically tell other than my pictures will tell the truth and I was yelling at them. To steal the words of a Reverend that was pepper sprayed earlier that day, it was a baptism by pepper spray.
The pain was secondary. It meant nothing. I would take it again. This movement means more than a little pain. This movement is the core of my being. But before this evening I never thought it possible to be more behind this movement. Well after taking a face full of pepper spray..I now know I was Mind and Soul in it. Now my Body has joined the fray.
So I would like to thank the SPD for bringing me further into this movement and proving to me what I am doing is right. As I sat there blind for 20 minutes, I was shown the greatest compassion and given the greatest love anyone could receive. People I will never know who they are, thanked me, gave me their love, and cared for me. I could not pick these people out of a line up to save my life. I was blind (not a fun thing for a photographer!). But the love and compassion I felt from my fellow occupiers can not be rivaled.
So as a review, (yes I know I rambled a bit...but its my blog cherry!) First and foremost to my kids. I love you more than you could ever know and I thank you for giving me the drive and passion to do this. This is all for you. My life has been and always will be dedicated to making this place a better place for you to live. Thank you to my wonderfully amazing Livestream team I am a part of. I appreciate how quickly you accepted me and how you made me feel part of you without hesitation. If you need anything....call me. To my beautiful girlfriend, Thank you for everything. Your support, knowledge, wisdom, keeping me in check, the small things I forget to thank you for, but most of all your love. I feel honored and blessed to have you there not just with me...but beside me every step of the way. You rock and I would be half the person I am today without you. Lets make history together! and lastly to the SPD. Thank you for baptizing me. Without you I would ahve thought I was fully in this movement. Now, thanks to you, I am more driven to make this happen than ever before. Sadly for you, your actions had the exact opposite reaction you were hoping for. I know you wanted to scare me, intimidate me. The exact opposite has occurred. I am now more resolved, more dedicated tha I was before. So for that I can not do anything but thank you. Every stupid decision you make, not only helps me be stronger, but helps the movement grow larger. Soon you will see who the real people in charge are.
Thanks for listening to my rant.
Love and peace,
Josh
Almost two months ago, here in the Seattle area, the occupy movement began. This movement struck a chord with me, for it was all the things I saw wrong with this country, but never thought I would see changed. I had the belief that there was way to much "me" feelings in the world. It was what we were "programmed" to do for the lack of a better word. Feel like we all had to fend for "me" and not worry about our neighbors and friends. I am ultimately a part of the 80's "me generation". I was never one who was like that...but I had seen enough to believe that most were. Then came this movement. I was filled with excitement to see others, like me, rising up in unison, bitching, fighting, and complaining about the very things I saw wrong. In the very beginning I was unsure of HOW to get involved. Soon, somehow, I found myself involved with the livestream crew. Slowly, I got to know Mel and Lisa. This bond quickly grew and soon I felt they were my family. Then came meetings. Here I met some of the most amazing, courageous, and dedicated people I know. This livestream crew, Most of who knew nothing of each other before this, quickly became my family. People I would do anything for. These people put themselves in the most intense, frightening, and potentially dangerous spots to get the true and raw story out. All of these people believe in the movement. All of them know in their hearts we battle for the right and good. but we also know we are here to report the news as it happens no matter who looks like the fool. we will not shy away from news that may make the occupy movement here in Seattle look bad. Its bound to happen. But even without our high tech equipment, and our degrees in journalism, we are doing the things our fellow corporate media stations SHOULD be doing and that is reporting what is happening. No spin. No slant. No agenda. We are here to report History in the making.
On that note, I want to thank each and every one of my crew. You all have opened your hearts and minds to me. I am amazed at the love and camaraderie that has transpired over a few online meetings and chats and limited personal meetings. I love you all and truly feel blessed having you in my life. I never imagined that this wonderful movement would bring such amazing people in my life. Shows how Naive I was.
Once involved, I spent all the free time I could, wrapping my mind around as many aspects of it as I could handle. Sleep dwindled, but knowledge prospered. Unfortunately I could not spare all the time I would like to towards this life altering event. I have to work. Supplying a roof, food, and all those essentials for my family. in that immediate family I am lucky to be blessed with an amazing woman at my side through all of this. Athena has been at home, digging, blogging, searching for any and all manners of information. most of what I know, I know because of her. She is MY database. She supplies me with the majority of knowledge I have of the goings on around the world involving all of this. Without her, I would be half as prepared as I am. so darling...Thank you. I hope you know the impact you have on me...and this movement.
So we here in Seattle, along with most other cities nation wide, decided to have a march in solidarity with our brothers and sisters plight in NYC. Me and Athena hustled to Seattle as soon as we could (me having to work), speed walking through the streets of Seattle to catch the march. Thanks to constant contact with my Livestream crew, we finally met up with them. Already on the march there had been 2 pepper spray incidents. Jenny, part of our crew, had taken a straight shot to the face, while Ian had gotten some secondary spray. After meeting up with them we marched through Seattle, at times a little unorganized, but finally finding our senses, ended up at the corner of 5th and Pike.
A group of around 75 or so decided to sit in the street. Trying to avoid arrest/trouble I stayed on the outskirts. Taking photos from on top of the planters that live on many of the corners in downtown Seattle. Not that I do not find this movement worthy of getting arrest for, I just can not risk losing my job for my family sake. Roughly 30 minutes or so later, the police issue warning number one. Basically "get out of the street or risk retaliation or arrest." Not long after, warning number 2 is issued. At this point, the people sitting in the streets decide that our point has been made and move to the sidewalks as asked.
Bike Cops line the corner where I am standing. Still snapping pictures, suddenly there is a shower from 5-7 cops of pepper spray without warning driving people back a few feet. This causes something in me to snap. After the spray subsides, I begin shouting towards the cops. I am outraged at what I have seen taken place by the very people who have been sworn to protect us and our constitutional rights. Shouting in a voice I rarely use, I begin..."We're on the fucking sidewalk!What the Fuck?!" My tirade lasts longer than I would have liked. With this "advantage"of the crowd backing up after the spraying, the bike cops move their barricade line up. Not once but twice shouting "MOVE BACK". All the protesters are on the side walk, they have been since before the first pepper spray.
One protester stands his ground at the edge of the sidewalk. Upon the second surge of "Move Back" and advancing the bike barricade, the protester standing there on the edge is hit with a bicycle. After stumbling a bit back, he moves forward to regain his stance on the very edge of the sidewalk. Another protester joins his brothers side. For one reason or another I will never know, the cops behind the front line deem this man worthy or arrest and drag him over the bike barricade. It was here that one of the cops saw something that either frightened or concerned him and he unleashed his pepper spray. For some reason this was cause for 5-6 other officers to unleash theirs.
Now, whether it was the shouting that I was doing, my camera taking their pictures, or the combo, Ill never know. But this is when I was greeted with a full shot of pepper spray to the face. Here I am, a photographer documenting the events. Angered at the cps actions less than a minute before, being pepper sprayed. Was there a reason? None that I can logically tell other than my pictures will tell the truth and I was yelling at them. To steal the words of a Reverend that was pepper sprayed earlier that day, it was a baptism by pepper spray.
The pain was secondary. It meant nothing. I would take it again. This movement means more than a little pain. This movement is the core of my being. But before this evening I never thought it possible to be more behind this movement. Well after taking a face full of pepper spray..I now know I was Mind and Soul in it. Now my Body has joined the fray. So I would like to thank the SPD for bringing me further into this movement and proving to me what I am doing is right. As I sat there blind for 20 minutes, I was shown the greatest compassion and given the greatest love anyone could receive. People I will never know who they are, thanked me, gave me their love, and cared for me. I could not pick these people out of a line up to save my life. I was blind (not a fun thing for a photographer!). But the love and compassion I felt from my fellow occupiers can not be rivaled.
So as a review, (yes I know I rambled a bit...but its my blog cherry!) First and foremost to my kids. I love you more than you could ever know and I thank you for giving me the drive and passion to do this. This is all for you. My life has been and always will be dedicated to making this place a better place for you to live. Thank you to my wonderfully amazing Livestream team I am a part of. I appreciate how quickly you accepted me and how you made me feel part of you without hesitation. If you need anything....call me. To my beautiful girlfriend, Thank you for everything. Your support, knowledge, wisdom, keeping me in check, the small things I forget to thank you for, but most of all your love. I feel honored and blessed to have you there not just with me...but beside me every step of the way. You rock and I would be half the person I am today without you. Lets make history together! and lastly to the SPD. Thank you for baptizing me. Without you I would ahve thought I was fully in this movement. Now, thanks to you, I am more driven to make this happen than ever before. Sadly for you, your actions had the exact opposite reaction you were hoping for. I know you wanted to scare me, intimidate me. The exact opposite has occurred. I am now more resolved, more dedicated tha I was before. So for that I can not do anything but thank you. Every stupid decision you make, not only helps me be stronger, but helps the movement grow larger. Soon you will see who the real people in charge are.
Thanks for listening to my rant.
Love and peace,
Josh
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)