a big day

I can not believe it.  Today, my little girl finishes second grade and my little men graduate home preschool. It is amazing to me how fast my children have grown.  It seems just like last week I brought my beautiful daughter home,

and the week after that my amazing son.

 Damion was added to my immediate family later,but I remember when he came home too. 

The fact that they will all be in school next year blows my mind.  Not a day goes by that I do not question how I raise them.  I question every aspect of my parenting, hoping that I am doing it in the best interest of them.  To make them better than me, because isn't that what we all want as parents?  To have our children succeed beyond our expectations?  At least in my world...yes.

     After this summer, all of my kids will be in School.  That is a HUGE step.  As babies, they are tough.  But I can not even imagine the difficulty that will ensue when they all are pursuing their different passions (and Damn are they different) and needing to keep track of who's practice is tonight, the recital tomorrow and when the next science project is due.  I will relish in it, but hate it at the same time.  I think my time is tight now...wait until they get older.  All so different, yet all so close.  Each one driving the other to be better (even if it IS in a competitive way).
     I can not wait for it.  My children pushing themselves means I get pushed with them.  As long as I keep doing what I am doing, I hope that they continue trying to impress me and my voice is always there, influencing their every decision.  I hope I am doing it right and they grow more to love me than hate me.  I hope that they can see, before they are in their twenties, that I have nothing but their best interests at heart and only want them to be a better human than I ever was.

     So here is to my children.  The most frustrating, amazing, complicated, and awe inspiring thing about me.  Without whom I would be half the man I am today.  So not only congratulations to you for your great achievements in your young lives, but thank you for pushing me to become a better human that I hope one day you learn from and surpass.  I love you all with every fiber of my being and I can not WAIT to see what the future brings for each of you!

Right does not always mean easy.

     Life is not easy.  No one ever tried to tell me otherwise.  But there come those times in life that are more difficult then others.  Then there are those more difficult times that someone close to you is involved.  When this happens the situation is compounded greatly.  I currently find myself in this type of situation...with kids in the middle of it all.
     Usually there are two murky paths that lay before you, not knowing where each path will end up.  The destination of each path is so far beyond the horizon, it can not be seen.  You have to make your best educated/gut instinct and follow the path you feel best with.  Hoping that the destination is what you envisioned.  My dilemma has gradually made my choice easier. The paths that were before me where becoming more and more clear.  So clear that I know the path that I need to take.
     So why Can't I?  I know it is the right thing to do.  I know that it will be best for all parties involved.  It would put me more in a situation to succeed and move on happily with my life instead of sitting in this muck.  Not that my life is terrible, but seems to be a never ending stream of Shit happens just when things start to improve. I think I am on the ladder, climbing out of the crap and then I slip and fall in the muck.  I recently realized its not a ladder, it is a wheel.  there is no up, only around and around.  I need to get off this stupid ride and find the ladder that was meant for me.  But to do that means a road that will not be easy.
     Maybe that is my issue.  Up until now, there have been very few things I have fought for.  I don't like to fight.  It usually means hurting someone, and that is VERY low on my "Things to Do" list.  Very few things I have taken the hard road to get.  I have not really needed to.  I work hard and live my life my way.  Im what you call a roll with the punches kind of guy.  Not that my path has been easy...but rarely have I fought upstream.  Apparently this is the world telling me to start now. Get off the damn squeaky wheel and search for that ladder.

 

One Day

One Day

By: Josh Krogman

One day the world will awaken from its blinding slumber to see a new vision

Not the nightmare we wallow in today

One day people will look upon others for their spirit and love

not their money or color

One day people will accept and respect views that differ from their own

not kill over thoughts or religion

One day people will look upon this planet for its beauty and wonder

Not profit and development

One day the animal kingdom will have clean and safe homes to reside in

Not water, skies fand land filled with poisons

One day food from mother earth will belong to all its inhabitants

not just the privileged and rich

One day sharing of all goods you have to offer will come second nature

not just a thought trapped in your head

One day it is my hope to see the world free of all of its vices

and if people are always trying to make a difference

it will happen.

One day

The Bug has struck

     Lately, I have had this deep seeded itch spring forth (again) that can only be scratched by writing.  I am not sure if it is Spring, or things have been bottled up to long, or what the reason for it is.  It doesn't really matter, I just know that I have to do something about it.  Issue is...What do I write about?  Where do I start?  do I write Fiction? Non-Fiction? When will I have time?  Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!  My guess is that I will just have to poke around in my head and see what spews out.  I may have a few posts of just blathering on like an idiot until something hits me but I am going to try and find time at LEAST once a week to sit and do some form of writing. Who knows.  Let's hope that this is the start of something wonderful.