Today, like most holidays, is a mixed bag of emotions. I wake up, go help my in-laws with dinner, spend time with them and the rest of the family, and enjoy every minute of it. Well except when the kids get crazy (THANK you for having a yard Karen!) But as the day winds down, my mind is less distracted by the busy day and it begins to wander.
For those of you who do not know, I live in the Seattle area. I moved here about 12 years ago, needing a change from Florida. I love it here. It is here that I met the mother of my children and am blessed with two amazing kids. I have a wonderful woman at my side. As of late, life has come into wonderful perspective. But it is days like today I begin to think of all my family that is far away. My dad, he lives in Illinois (where I was born) along with my amazing step mom. Then there is my Mom, step dad, sister, and brother. They are in Florida. Not that I do not think of these people a lot. I think of them nearly everyday. But DAMN these holidays. I sit and watch my in-laws family, and I am as much a part of their family as my own, but I can not help but feel some inner disconnect. It begins to eat at me how little I get to see my family.
Im sure that when I lay my tired head down tonight I will cry for all those I miss. So before I go retire to my bed, I want to say this:
To Dad and Sue, Thank you for being everything you are. You are my voice of reason when I need it. On one hand, talking to you as often as I do, makes these days easier. On the other, it makes it more difficult. I do not think I say it enough, but I love you and I thank you for everything.
To Mom: You are an amazing mom. I know we do not talk enough and I aim to try and change that. Know that not a day goes by that I do not think to myself "I need to call her". No more excuses. You are to important to me and your grand kids for "I'm to busy" I KNOW I do not get to tell you enough...but I love you with everything I am.
To my Step dad: Jack, I know we have had our battles in the past. We were both so damned stubborn, we could not see the others side. I just want you to know, any animosity I once held is gone. No matter what has happened in the past, I know you love me. I know you wanted the best for me. I know you busted your ass to provide for the family. Maybe its because I do that now...I have grown up that I get it. Either way, I want you to know I love and admire all you have done for me. You have had a par tin shaping me into the man I am today. I love you and never doubt that for a second.
To my little Sister: Miimii, I'm so happy that you have the family you have always wanted. Makes this big brother proud to see the wonderful woman and mother you have grown up to be. Thank you for being there for me in any tough times I have had. I know you are always a phone call away and will answer no matter the hour. I love you and that beautiful little girl of yours. Give her a big hug and kiss for me please and tell her Uncle Josh says "you are a lucky little girl Lillian. You have got a wonderful mommy and daddy to look after you. Treat them with respect. Love you!" And sis...I love you more than you can ever imagine.
To my baby Brother: We have not always been verbally close, but we have always had a tight bond. We can get together and act like no time has been missed. This movement has brought us closer together and I am glad to have helped in your introduction to it. Hopefully this means we will start to talk more. Both movement and non-movement stuff. I'm SO proud of how much you have matured in the last 6 years. I remember when you were a punk kid not wanting a baby. Now you are a wonderful Father who gets it. It makes me proud. I love you Bro. Keep in touch.
To Everyone else reading this: Thank you for being here with me. Without you I would not be who I am. From close friends to the friends I have just met, you all are amazing people and I am blessed to have you all in my life. Thank you for joining me on this wild ride called my life.
Now, off to bed for me, to be thankful for my things and cry a little for those I miss. Much love and peace to you all.
No comments:
Post a Comment